Men to Fathers
“The seminal event to the 20th century,” is what Brad Lemee calls Woodstock as he talks about the picture a 17 year old boy, Dan Garson took. Dan Garson later died at 40 but left behind a legacy of one of the largest outdoor concerts ever. It changed many people’s lives. Captured on film and on vinyl, it’s a reminder of a time gone by. But as we look into the mirror, ask yourself what is the seminal event of the last decade and how do you figure it will change the future?
As we move toward the new decade, and the New Year, I want to share something about health, personality, society and life you might want to read. It was sent to me that I think each of us should take time to read, and then it’s your choice.
Recently I sustained a small accident. My friends indicated that there are easier ways of getting out of work, but the fact remains, men need to look out for their health and in that regard, here are some things for you to consider:
1. Drink plenty of water. We were told to drink eight glasses when we grew up. 2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar. None of us are getting younger and weight can contribute to a bit of baggage we could do without. 3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. It’s healthier. 4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy. We men generally have no problem with the first two, but we could start by sharing how to learn to be in the moment to enjoy the first two, especially with our families. 5. Make time to pray. The operative word here is ‘make.’ We mean well, and we think that God will make time for us. He doesn’t make time for us, He generally just waits. Pray. 6. Play more games. I think we know this one by heart, but it’s generally who and what we play that’s important. 7. Read more books than you did in 2009. Hopefully it’s more than two, otherwise…what a waste! 8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Try working some enthusiasm in here! 9. Sleep for 7 hours. It’s a fact, we have become sleep deprived, and if you want to be on the edge…fail to get adequate amounts of sleep. 10.. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. While you walk, smile.
Personality: 11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. As Max Ehrmann reminds us with Desiderata, you will become vain and bitter .12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. Remember, you are the change you want to see in the world. 13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits. It will be there tomorrow, and if it doesn’t get done, as I’ve learned it won’t kill you. 14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. This is where being able to laugh is important, and why we pay psychiatrists so much and pay so much to see Robin Williams or Whoopi Goldberg .15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip. Will it change anything? 16. Dream more while you are awake. We all have the potential to be a Susan Doyle, with or without the eyebrows. 17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness. This is key, and should be posted on your refrigerator on your forehead.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Yet we do. Parents, children, republicans or democrats, it doesn’t matter don’t hate others. 20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present. 21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. No one can change you but you! 22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. Every house we have built, I’ve had to use fractions. 23. Smile and laugh more. 24. You don’t have to win every argument, agree to disagree. Learn to let go!
Society: 25. Call your family often. They may come a day when they are all that you have. 26. Each day give something good to others. It doesn’t hurt. 27. Forgive everyone for everything, imagine the weight you are carrying by refusing to lighten the load. 28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. Both can teach you how much you don’t know. I know. 29. Try to make at least three people smile each day. Especially after you read this. 30. What other people think of you is none of your business. Stay out of it and remember you can’t make people love you. 31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. Nothing is worse than to be in need and have no one to fill that, or to want to be needed and to be denied the opportunity.
Life: 32. Do the right thing! If you don’t know what that is, ask someone over 70 or under 6. 33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. 34. GOD heals everything. 35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. That’s why there’s prayer and therapy. 36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. This is something we need to teach by doing, especially to our young men. 37. The best is yet to come. 38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it. Duh? Who else would you? 39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy. You have the power to create, so do that.
Hopefully this has given you something to think about. Read it. Relish it. I encourage you to share it, and live it as we remember, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, and today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” Take it, use it and give it to those we love, especially the young trying to be grow into adults.
Archie R. Wortham, PhD
Educator & Writer